How to Free Yourself from the Psychological ED Box
For some guys resolving psychological ED involves really getting into some deep issues. They have to "go there" in order to solve the problem. For those guys, fair enough. Their best bet is to work with a skilled therapist.
Having ED can be like a bee trapped in a room
For some guys, though, I think it it's different. I don't know if you've ever seen a bee that's trapped inside a room. It's trying so hard to get it out that it just keeps bouncing off the same little section of glass...it's flying harder and harder...even though the window's open and the way out is right there.
I think it can be like that with some guy's ED issues. They're locked into one perspective and they're just trying harder and harder to solve the problem with the exact same thinking. So what I thought we might do here today is to see if we might be able to open up or change your perspective a little.
Let's see what happens if we try pointing the camera in some different directions. Let's see what happens if we pull it back for a really wide shot that includes a lot more than what you'd been focused on in the past.
Questions control the perspective
How are we going to do it? With questions. Questions that just might help open up some other possibilities for you.
If you can take the time to really slow down and consider some of these questions, you might find yourself seeing some things that you hadn't seen before...and usually if you're seeing things differently, you feel different. And if you're feeling different, that's probably a step in a good direction.
So what's the best way to approach this?
First, you have to really consider the questions honestly. If you go right to "I dunno," and stop, you're less likely to get any value out of this. Whereas if you can hold the question in your mind and just stay curious about it. you're a lot more likely to get some kind of shift from it. So honestly trying to answer for the win.
Some of these questions will be really straightforward. Even obvious.
Some might seem kind of weird.
For the weird ones, just know that it's not always necessary for you to get a clear conscious answer in order for you to feel different. Or see more. Again it's the idea of just staying curious with it and seeing what might come up.
And I'd encourage you to go very slowly and give yourself plenty of time to process each question.
OK, ready? Here we go...
THE QUESTIONS:
- How have you been talking to yourself about this?
- How haven't you been talking to yourself about this...in a way that if you did, might feel different?
- What's one thing you haven't been saying to yourself that you could start to now...that might start to move this in a different direction?
- How could you be talking to yourself about this...to begin feeling better...now?
- If you think of everything about the problem you've been focused on as being in the foreground...
...and then you, consider what's everything else beyond the foreground that you weren't paying attention to.....consider everything in the background... everything in the world, everything in the universe that's beyond that...
Now, in a flash/really quickly… if you have the background RUSH to the foreground, as that old foreground recedes…. just kind of disappears (into the background)...
What are you paying attention to NOW that you weren’t before... what would it be like to take that forward?
- What have you been most focused on with this?
- What's one other thing that's not that that you might be begin to see along with that now... that might being to help later?
- What's everything else outside of what you've been focused on that might feel different to begin to see now?
- What other choices do you have for relating with your partner?
How many of those choices might feel lighter and more open? - What're you like when you're relaxed...how does it feel in your body when you're relaxed?
- What does it feel like when you just feel good...how does it feel in your body when you just feel good?
- What's it like in your body when you feel really confident?
- What have you not been paying attention to IN BED that you can now?
- What have you not been curious about IN BED, that might feel good to begin to be curious about now?
- What have you not been feeling IN BED, that you might begin to now that's different?
- What could you begin to consider now that's other than where you used to be?
- What's one thing you could include in your perspective more often... that might open up some other new possibilities for you?
