Psychological ED: How to Take the Pressure Off
MUSTerbation
Have you ever heard the the term MUSTerbation? It’s not a typo and it's probably not what you might think. Coined by Albert Ellis, the father of rational emotive behavior therapy, MUSTerbation refers to the mental habit of telling ourselves that things MUST be a certain way.
Ellis noticed that his clients shared a common pattern: they imposed rigid expectations on themselves, such as “I MUST not be seen as a fool,” or “I MUST make X amount of money.” These self-imposed demands often led to anxiety and physical tension.
MUSTerbation and erectile dysfunction
So, have you been MUSTerbating? Have you been telling yourself “I MUST get hard,” “I NEED to get hard,” or “I can’t STAND IT if I’m not hard”? This kind of rigid thinking can lead to performance anxiety and other issues.
The good news is that it’s possible to overcome MUSTerbation. The key is to transform these rigid demands into flexible preferences. Instead of saying “I MUST get hard,” try telling yourself “I’d PREFER to get hard,” or “I’d LIKE to get hard.”
By making this mental shift, you can relieve pressure, reduce anxiety, and create more mental space for positive experiences. Remember, it’s not about completely letting go of your desires, but rather about being willing to experience whatever happens.
Getting Help
If you’re interested in learning more about MUSTerbation and how to overcome it, you can check out any of Ellis' dozens of books. Or if you'd like some one-on-one help, just give me a call or drop me a note.
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